FIRE IN MY SOUL


How do you feel
when someone say that you doing
a wrong thing
but
in fact you didnt do it
how you feel?
just now
my father
said he found alot of cigarette in my room
but thats not mine
thats belong to my second brother
why have to blaming on me
cos i sleep on my own room
then if you find some bad things
you just declare without proof?
he said :
"if i see you smoking around here you have to get out from this house,
you just like your brother!!"
omg!
i'm so mad!
i'm sad
how come he said those things on me
in my thoughts
i just want kick his head then run away
damn i'm so fucking piss off
how dare he compared me with my brother
i'm not like him
not for this time he said like that
but this is couple of time
he's not belive me as his own son!
he just love and care my third brothers
i know,he only your great great great son
he's claver+pray alot+hardworking bla bla bla
he only see my brother is his hope on this family
when my third brother want anything he want
my father go for it,buy for it
if me want something
damn it
alot of excuses!
arghhhhhh!!
when i'm a child
i'm seriously not to close with my father
when i get hungry
or
want extra money
or
want buy something
or
want share my problems
i always go to my soul
my mother.
till now me and my father still same
not talk to much.
i do love my mother more than my father
i always pray to my mother only
i know,
you must say i'm a bad son
but that just the way you thought
if you in my position
you will now
how i feel!

what a bad day's

It start 5.00 pm
i start my engine
then driving along my bike
go to alip house
with happy face and singing a songs
then
when i on my way
i dont know
how the bees come
flying inside my helmet
i'm struggling
i take my hands
grab that little evil creatures
i hold it
then
omg!
its stung my ears
its really faking hurt!
seriously i dont how to say
damn! so hurt
then
i go back to my house
with the weird face
all my plan mess up
after that,
my ears gettin swollen
damn so big
my ears like a goblin
seriously.
one night i cant sleep well
what a luck!!!!

feel bad

Last night
i made my buddy fyzz
piss off on me
he tot im mad at him
cos late replying my tex (YM)
but
i'm really dont have any mood
got a lot of probs and works to do
thats why i have to stop early
eventot fyzz put xtra time on his pc
im so sorry for that
i didnt mean it to do that
he dont know how i feel just now
my dad was in hospital
blood pressure
then
i have to take care of my mum
if i go accompany my dad
whos gonna take care of my mum?
my mum also got probs
cant walk for awhile
have to depends on wildchair only
im so sad
why all of this have me through it
i dont want to be like this
but
how can i fix it?
only hoping and praying can help it
back to the story
im so lucky
my second brother was come
and went to hospital accompany my dad
PLUS
i got a hard time for this several days
my CUPCAKE was leave me
i'm so faking sad
i dont know where my mistakes is
i ask her for another chances
but
she just silent
i dont know what have to do
i just useless guy
maybe she tot like that
cos i'm not care bout her
and i'm not treat her as my other friends treat their GF
i'm really busy for that time
i'm studying
SPM!!!!!!!
have to remind alot
i didnt check my phone in xam weeks for real
cos i dont want anythng bhotering me
then
i late replying her text
i'm not do it on propose
why she cant understanding me
aaaaarghhhh
so tired
now both of us
just friends i tot
i wish she happy for that
but i still LOVE YOU
then
the other probs was coming
fyzz mad at me
i'm really tired
pretending infront of my buddy fyzz
i dont want he worry about me
thats why
i have to pretending im okay
but the facts im not
im so sorry!

FREE ALREADY ^^

HAPPY BADLY JUTST NOW
NO PAPER NO XAM AND NO BOOKS
but just for awhile
then
have to continue studying
if i get a gud result la
if im not
maybe u can see me working at the market
selling fresh fish ^^ hahahah just jokes
really hoping can get well result
wish me luck there ^^