The Story Begin

Go with the full of happines back with the real sadness

While packing for a week's holiday to KL in June 2009. Got skate competition and we been order under YSB to take a place. Eman,black and me was sent there. We arrived at Shah Alam at 6 p.m. I ask my sister pull over us at section 13, we skating all night long till midnight. So damn tired. The next day was our big day. The event at The curve. My sister Aishah pick up us at my sister Azizah house. Time was 8.00 am. Rigistration around 10 am. When we arrived there,we all cant speak any of words. All stars from around Asian was there. We freaking out. Then,we go to the registration. Write down our name then we have to take a voted. Eman and I ask Black to take a vote. We hoping our first match will be fine. Suddenly,black face gettin red. Eman and me kinda wondering. Then black said,our first match with BILLABONG ASIANS. Fuck off. Eman and I speachless. We said "damn you black,your hands so suey"! i'm lafing all the time. They all so damn fucking pro. Fuad,Usher and Firdaus from Singapore. Are you fucking kidding me? Our hoping mess up. We all knew already,we gonna lose. It's true,we lose on them. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh! So stupid. But,the good thing is,we do our best. We so proud cos we face with the real match. The next day we all just hang out at home. We rest all the time,cos tomorrow night we all go back to our place. But we plan tomorrow morning we want to chill out at KL. Then, i woke one morning my right eyes cant open. It's really hurt and swollen, red, watery and leaking a yellowish discharge. Noticed that my right eye was very itchy. I thought it just normal dieases. I ignore it. I put my lens on infact my eye really hurt. That time i really had no idea. In my thought this end of day i just want to hang out with my friends with the happinesss on our face and enjoy all the time. I ask my sister to sent us around BB. I texting My girlfriend Bila cos we promise we gonna hang out together. That day i felt really tired,i cant walk i feel like i want faint. Seriously the pain was very hurting me alot. I cant stop rub it all the time. I ignore it. I make it normal but i'm not. I dont want my friends know my condition. I dont want to let our last day going wrost. Around 10 pm my friends and me took a train go to my sister house at TAMAN MELATI. The pain going worst. Again,i try to hang on. I ask my sister to see my eyes,then she said just normal deases but in my heart said different. Our bus at 12.oo am. When arrived at JALAN DUTA,i cant take it anymore. I screaming like crazy people. All people started staring at me. I ignore it. Eman and Black calm me down. I cant. The pain really insane. The bus was coming. I go up slowly. My tears keep falling down. I crying like a baby. I didnt care people on the bus. Go back to my place took around 5-6 hours. Can you imagine? I keep crying on that time. I had no idea how to say the pain is feel. I arrived at SHAHAB PERDANA around 5.40 am. I still crying. Then,my dad pick me up and right way go to the Hospital. I been arrested by the doctor. The doctor immediately take me to the emergency room. The hurt still haunting me. The doctor said my eyes got scars and if want to see back,i have to do huge treatment. Then,she said chances to succed 70%. But,i still keep thinking. I spent my time 3 months. It's really long time. I get my single room which is my room really hiding from people,so freaking me out. Just my self only. So damn fucking bored,every weekend Eman always accompany me. I'm so glad. But,i really regrets. I tell you the truth,every single days i'm crying. Miss my life. I dont know how to say. I'm really sad. I just....................

☆HOPING☆

Sometimes i felt this life isn't fair. I just cant accepted it what i been through this before. If i could i just want to split back my past and fix it to the right way. I miss my life before i miss my happiness i miss everything bout me, but what can i do? Only praying and hoping can help me. When i saw my pictures my tears keep falling down. I miss my eyes i miss my sight. I just want to see as before as all of you does. Seriously i'm so fucking sad. I'm regrets. I'm so dump. I'm not listening my parents advice. I just want to tell all of you,dont you dare using lens,probably you will be like me. That little things can change your life. That's why,when new people ask me to hang out i always give alot of excuses. I'm ashame with my self. I just afraid they dont want to friend with me if they see my condition..What can i do? Already happend. This is my fate,i have to accept it. So,love your eyes as you love your self.